You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
