You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize