Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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