i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
