I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
