Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
