I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
that may or may not have been my penis.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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