He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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