exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
