I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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