Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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