why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
