Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
