I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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