mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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