There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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