Yo dont text me then not text me
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
