We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
