My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
