I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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