please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
