Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
