and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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