let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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