thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize