im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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