In America we eat man semen.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman