its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
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You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
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I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.