Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots