so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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