drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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