So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
