It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
