How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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