somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
