his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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