So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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