i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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