i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
