My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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