even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Randomize
