So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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