Clothes are such an inconvenience.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
