You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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