He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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