i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
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i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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