I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
