You can't motorboat a personality
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
