Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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