I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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