I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
