I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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