then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize