Pants 0. Shit 1.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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