I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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