Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think my vagina is haunted
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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