I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize