i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
