goodnight i made you a song goodbye
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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