dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Damn victory sex feels great
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
