we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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