If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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