So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
