Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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