Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
