I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
