This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
