the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Randomize
