i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
