Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
even my farts smell like vagina
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
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its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
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We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.