ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months