belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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